Wednesday, May 11, 2005

How to get a flat stomach in just one day

I've been translating, as I've noted here before, Jason Starr's excellent novel "Nothing Personal". One of the lead characters, Leslie Sussman, is having anorectic attacks and vomits everything she eats, telling everyone she's got some sort of virus. She loses weight and his husband, advertising prick called David Sussman, notices that Leslie is indeed looking better and thinks: maybe this virus is not such a bad thing after all. In the mean time he's having an affair from hell with a young woman called Amy Lee.

And, yes, I just found out that throwing everything up works miracles. I got, maybe from yoghurt I ate last Monday night, stomach complaint and threw up everything I ate. And we had to go to Helsinki to talk about our talkkuna book (it was the Day of Books and Roses and there was this huge book carneval). I said to Elina that I can't come. They left without me and after lying down a while I decided that I'll take the next train. Everything went alright, until I got back on the train. I vomited five times during the two-hour trip back to Turku (actually the first half of it). It was embarrassing to go to the toilet again and again, especially when the car was full of people. They must've been thinking I've got hangover.

Today I've been slightly better. Nothing has come up since the trip and I slept for at least ten hours, but I'm still weak and wouldn't want to do anything. (Except that I had to write down the results of my students' exams. It would've been boring even if had been healthy.) But I just noticed that I've now got a flat stomach. I just wonder what I have to do keep it that way...

Seriously, I can't imagine how anorectic people can throw up everything they eat. They must feel dizzy and drowsy all the time. And what their breath must be like... Maybe you get used to it. And what price awaits those who are patient! A flat stomach. Now, I can't really think of anything more important!

1 comment:

allanj1307 said...

right, i really would usualy care, and if you were being sarcastic at that last bit about patient people who wait get a flat stomach adn thats important and all thatt shit. well baisicly mate, throwing up all you meals for a flat stomach and lookin sickly all the time is not cool, all your doing is encouraging anorexia and sorts. indecent man. and defo not the way to get a flat stomach in 1day. xx