Rave about the universities (in Finnish)

This is in Finnish, because I really can't write it in English and probably wouldn't interest anyone outside Finland. It's about the role of universities in Finland.

Suomen itsenäisyyden juhlarahasto eli SITRA julkisti toissapäivänä raportin, jonka mukaan Suomen yliopistojen pitäisi muuttua maksullisiksi. Tämä muun muassa sen takia, että kaikki muutkin tekevät niin (mikä on aina hyvä argumentti, muistuttaa hiukan leikki-ikäisten touhuja), mutta myös sen takia, että innovaattorit eivät häipyisi tästä maasta tekemään innovaatioitaan muihin maihin.

Aivan käsittämätöntä ajattelua! Ilmeisesti Sitrassa kenellekään ei ole tullut mieleen, että yliopistoissa tehdään muutakin kuin teknisiä innovaatioita, joilla voi nostaa kansantaloutta ja joiden takia voi sanoa valtiolle, että veroja pitää pienentää, jotta saamme enemmän fyrkkaa keksinnöistämme. Suurin osa yliopistojen tuottamista tutkimustuloksista on jotain aivan muuta. Mitä tekemistä jollain sosiologian aivan perustutkimuksilla on teknologisten innovaatioiden kanssa? Puhumattakaan jostain filosofiasta tai kirjallisuudentutkimuksesta (josta olen itse valmistunut). Yliopistot tuottavat itseymmärrystä eikä sellaiseen tähtäävää tutkimusta mennä tekemään ulkomaille, joissa olisi Sitran edustaman ajattelun mukaan parempia yliopistoja tai innovatiivisempaa meininkiä. Itseymmärrystä tehdään parhaiten hitaasti ja sinnikkäästi tutkimalla eikä menemällä päiväperhomaisten innovaatioiden perässä, niin kuin Sitra ilmeisesti haluaa.

Sitran kuva humanistisesta tai yhteiskuntatieteellisestä tutkimuksesta on nähtävästi syntynyt sen perusteella, että aina välillä näistä tieteistä nousee esiin - lähinnä vain hetkeksi - julkkiksia, jotka ovat alansa johtavia asiantuntijoita. Mutta Sitran ja muiden pölvästien päähän ei mahdu se, että nämäkään tutkijat (esim. Jaakko Hämeen-Anttila) eivät ole lähteneet tekemään innovaatioita, vaan perustutkimusta, jonka päälle he ovat voineet ja saaneet rauhassa tehdä pidemmälle meneviä tutkimuksia.

Sanoin Kautolle, kun luin uutista Hesarista, että valtaapitävät eivät halua tukea itseymmärrystä. Ehkä he tajuavat sen verran, että se on heille itselleen vaarallista.

Elinalle sanoin, että en tiedä, mitä teemme, jos Kautosta ei tule huippuälykästä tyyppiä, joka pääsee yliopistoon jonkin Nokia-säätiön stipendillä. Jos tulomme eivät tästä merkittävästi kasva (enkä näe syytä, että ne kasvaisivat), niin millä ihmeellä me kustannamme pojan opiskelun? Sitralaiset haluavat ilmeisesti estää tavallisen fiksujen perustyyppien korkeakouluopiskelun. Kaikki vain huipuille! Masentavaa läskipäistä ajattelua.

Tähän liittyy muuten myös se minua viime aikoina masentanut trendi, jonka toivottavasti kaikki muutkin ovat huomanneet: antihumanismin lisääntyminen ja median paijailu niitä kohtaan, jotka haukkuvat humanismia ja humanisteja. Äänekkäimmät humanismin vastustajat ovat rasittavan ylimieliset Kari Enqvist ja Esko Valtaoja. Varsinkin viimeksimainittua kavahdan pahan kerran. Onneksi Sami Pihlström pisteli Valtaojan uutta teknologiauskoista ja filosofiavihamielistä kirjaa ankarasti uusimmassa Tieteessä tapahtuu -lehdessä - mitä ei paljon tapahdu, siis että Valtaojaa kritisoitaisiin julkisesti. Ehkä Pihlströmin teksti löytyy netistä, jos ei, menkää kirjastoon.

Enqvist ja Valtaoja saavat mediassa niin paljon palstatilaa kuin vain haluavat. Nokian "menestystarina" on näköjään johtanut siihen, että vain teknologia on tärkeätä. Muu on turhaa ja hidastaa rikkaiden typerysten rikastumista.

Humanismin vastustajista median paijaama on muuten myös Pentti Linkola, joka hänkin edustaa kovia tieteitä (hänhän on lintutieteilijä eli biologi). Hänet erottaa edellämainituista sentään se, että hän kirjoittaa hyvin. Valtaojan nokkeluudet voi minusta huoletta jättää omaan arvoonsa.

Viggo Mortensen

I admitted in my previous post having been crushed on Viggo Mortensen. (I answered wrong, I realize that now, since the question was about the fictional characters, not actors. And in the books, you moron, in the books! Not films!)

But I do remember vividly that I was fascinated by his bad teeth and grinding voice when I saw Renny Harlin's first American feature, "Prison". It doesn't have a very good reputation, I know, but I thought it was pretty well-handled piece of horror. (And I just might say that it's best Renny, the man from Finland (originally Lauri Harjola), has done. With the exception of "Long Kiss Goodnight", even it has some implausibilities.)

Viggo was very good also in "Indian Runner", a nice drama film directed by Sean Penn. And in "Reflecting Skin" by Philip Ridley (I haven't seen the latter again, BTW: does it hold up? I remember comparing it even with the films of Charles Chaplin in the review I wrote at the time!).

And then Viggo disappeared (at least, for me). Then he resurfaced in the Stallone flick where the former Rocky saves people from the tunnels (forgot the title). Viggo had had his teeth fixed and he had obviously seen some speech coach, since the grind had disappeared from his voice (well, not altogether, of course). He's very good in LoTR, but not very hot. And he was HOT in "Prison" and all the other films. I was ready to nominate him the sexiest male actor in the world (to make sure: I didn't write that kind of reviews). The tunnel film was a big let-down, I'm sorry to say.

I also mentioned Elizabeth Shue. I fell in love with her in "Leaving Las Vegas" (not Goodbye, as I wrote earlier), but she hasn't given me such thrills second time. She was very, very good-looking in "Palmetto" (by the German new-waver, Volker Schlöndorff), but not near the Las Vegas film.

Maybe that's what always happens. Love at first sight should be left at that.

pHinnWeb's blog

I should've posted the book questionnaire to Mr. pHinn who maintains a very nice blog here. His blog is an interesting mix of electro underground culture in Finland and abroad, some anxiety of his own and very nice takes on mysticism and stuff like that (James Lovelock, Jorge Luis Borges, pagan origins of Easter etc. etc.). Check it out. When I'll start my own publishing company, Verikoirakirjat/Blood Hound Press, I will put out pHinn's long essay on Charles Manson and the aftermaths of the hippie culture.

Book questions

I got his from Tero.

Book Questionnaire

You’re stuck inside Fahrenheit 451. Which book do you want to be?

The Communist Manifesto. After reading the book the rebels would really know what to do instead of trying feebly to memorize the books. A bloody revolution is all they need!

Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character?

Are idolizations called crushes? Maybe Bob Morane, when I was a kid. I hoped I was more like him (which was none). Maybe some movies, with some pretty babes (Elizabeth Shue in "Goodbye Las Vegas"). And Viggo Mortensen, whom I considered for long to be very hot.

What are you currently reading?

Charlotte Armstrong's "A Dram of Poison" from 1956. It's for an article about female noir. There are some other books lying on the night table, but let's leave them out, since I haven't really touched them for a while. In the WC, there's a copy of Adam Hardy's (= Ken Bulmer) George Abercrombie Fox paperback (about Napoleon wars fought on sea: strictly pulp). I'm on page 25 or so.

Five books you would take to a deserted island?

The Lord of the Rings
The Selected Letters of Raymond Chandler
Robinson Crusoe by Daniel Defoe
Yrjö Hirn's study of robinsonades, "Valtameren saari/The Sea in the Ocean" (1922; with a good bibliography on the subject)
My forth-coming book on Finnish pulp fiction (presumed it's ready when I'm in a shipwreck and find myself marooned)

Can I also mention Al Hubin's The Bibliography of Crime Fiction? On the CD side, maybe Pat Hawk's pseudonyms catalogue would be really nice. Provided I had a computer with me.

Now, that makes seven.

Who are you going to pass this stick to (3 persons) and why?

Oh god.. let me think. I don't know so many bloggers. James , Tosikko and Bill. James and Bill write about books and Tosikko is a dear friend.

Back to safer areas from the universe of role playing books...

I finished Dorothy Hughes's "Ride the Pink Horse" (1946) last night. It was relaxing to open up a bottle of French cider and sit down and read a book after everyone else had gone to sleep. I liked the book much more than I would've thought since I had to drop it last time I tried it. There was some overwriting and over-analyzing (especially in the end scenes in which the policeman MacIntyre starts to moralize - that could easily be left out), but the overall effect was very good and very nice in its grimness. The ending was quite nasty, even though Sailor manages to escape.

I liked this more than "In Lonely Place" which I read earlier last week. It was more over-written and with some empty scenes throughout the book. But maybe the emptiness was the whole point: there's nothing left in the world that has just gone through the World War.

I didn't like much Hughes's last novel, "The Expendable Man" (1963) which was her last and which I read in January or February. It started out promising enough when it seemed almost absurd and Kafkaesque, but then Hughes gives the point away and the book becomes a rather moralizing and predictable tale on racial prejudice.

There are two other books by Hughes in Finnish, but I trust Tapani when he says that they are not interesting. The other is her debut novel, "The So Blue Marble" and the other one, oh well, even I can't check all the things.

Interesting, though (or sad or embarrassing actually), is that the two novels I mentioned first were turned into famous films ("In Lonely Place" with Bogie being more famous than "Ride the Pink Horse" which was directed by Robert Montgomery who had just earlied trashed Chandler's "Lady in the Lake" with his camera-as-character narration) and I haven't seen either of them!

By the way, I think it's the script writer Steve Fisher who invented the idea of doing "Lady in the Lake" with camera as Marlowe. It just doesn't work and it's no wonder there aren't many feature-length films with the same idea. There are some nice moments, but it becomes irritating when you have to listen to Montgomery in voice-over all the time. Someone should be able think of the way of doing this without having to resort to voice-over. I don't know if it's possible. There are some nice films with voice-overs, but for example Kubrick's "The Killing" would be even better if there were no voice-over. The other example of camera-as-character narration is Delmer Daves's "Dark Passage" from a David Goodis novel, but it's only the first 20 minutes and hence won't get irritating.

An oddment to the previous post

After I'd written my earlier post, I'd remembered that I had tracked down a slight connection between the world of fan fiction and role playing game books (isn't that thrilling!). I had written an article about the heroes of Edgar Rice Burroughs written by other writers, with or without the consent of Burroughs's heirs, and noticed that one of them had later produced role playing game books.

So (ta-daa!) let me present you: the bibliography of Ken St. Andre:

ROLE PLAYING GAME BOOKS:

Tunnels and Trolls: The Amulet of the Salkti and Arena of Khazan
With David Steven Moskowitz. Illustrated by Josh Kirby. UK: Corgi, 1986.

Tunnels and Trolls: Naked Doom.
Illustrated by Talbot, James, Carver, Robin; Crompton, Steven. Scottsdale, AZ, U.S.A.: Flying Buffalo Incorporated, 1977.

Tunnels and Trolls: Deathtrap Equalizer
Illustrated by Danforth, Elizabeth; Talbot, James. Scottsdale, AZ, U.S.A.: Flying Buffalo Incorporated, 1977.

Tunnels and Trolls: Arena of Khazan.
Illustrated by Day, Gene; Laird, Peter. Scottsdale, AZ, U.S.A.: Flying Buffalo Computer-Conflict Simulation, Incorporated, 1979.

Stormbringer: Fantasy Role-Playing in the Young Kingdoms. Chaosium Inc. 1981. (Illustrated by Frank Brunner).

Stormbringer Companion.
With Sandy Petersen, Steve Perrin, Lynn Willis. Chaosium 1983.

Stormbringer: Fantasy Roleplaying in the World of Elric.
With Perrin, Steve; Monroe, John B. (editor), Whelan, Michael (illustrator); Brunner, Frank (illustrator). Hayward, CA, U.S.A.: Chaosium, Incorporated, 1990.

SHORT STORIES:

”Korak and the Killer Leopard”, Odwar 1964 (ERB fanzine).

(Erm.. actually it seems (I did the google search only now on Ken St. Andre) that he's written much more and designed games. But I'll have to leave it at that and hope that someone else will continue my research on this. His own website is here.)

Tolkien spin-offs

I wrote about Tolkien in my last post here and got to thinking about - what else (this guy is predictable!) than tie-ins and spin-offs? There seem to be no Tolkien spin-offs, with the exception of some role game books. Or that's what I thought at first.

As for the Tolkien role game books, I bought one at the children's library sale. It was only out of curiosity, since I've always thought that role playing is a waste of time (hey, c'mon guys, you could write about tie-ins in your blog! come out of that forest and take off your stupid helmets!). The book is called, hm, I can't find the actual title anywhere. It's perhaps "Darkest of the Dark/Thieves and Crookes" or something like that (hey, this is a double book!).

The book was designed by Margaret and Dan Henley and Matthias and Karen Brinker, whoever they are. The first story/game is set in Briimaa (what's it in English?), east of Shire, and the lead characters are men. This is pretty difficult to read if you don't want to play.

It seems that there was a role game already on the LoTR itself. Which I didn't originally know.

Heck, I don't know anything about this genre! I only wanted to say, with a slight wonder upon my face, that no one was assigned to write an abridgement of LoTR after the Jackson film. It would've sold millions. (At least I think so. Maybe that's why I wouldn't be a successful publisher.) There were some how-the-film-was-made books and some such. And where are the spin-offs? I can see the trilogy "The Further Adventures of Merri and Pippin", or "What Gandalf Did Before Getting Acquainted with Bilbo Baggins", or "Saruman the White and the Gold of Opar". Don't you the see possibilities?!

But then I got to thinking that Tolkien did the spin-offs himself. There have been dozens of collections of unfinished stories by him, even one with Sauron rising from the shadows (scary thought, that one). But then again, why doesn't someone finish his stories? They would make some serious money. I mean, millions and billions of dollars. Isn't anyone listening?

And at the same time, someone's writing these stories without getting paid. I'm talking about Tolkien fan fiction. Just check out this one. It's actually an enormous industry!

Hey, this one sounds like a pulp story: "Chingo, Princess of Mirkwood."

***

Kauto is almost talking. He's on the brink of realizing how to make meaningful sounds. He knows - we are both sure about this - what "kukka/flower" and "lintu/bird" are since he can point them out in the tapestry we have in the bedroom. I've been repeating the words for him ever since he was two weeks old.

He also says "hi"! He lifts his (usually right) hand and shouts something like: "Jjoi!" He does this even to strangers.

Time to go. Have a nice weekend! We are off to my friend Markku's dissertation party. Markku did his enormous dissertation about Norman Mailer's fan fiction - oops, spin-offs! no, it was about his tie-ins.. hmm, maybe I should go to sleep. It's about Mailer's non-fiction and it's very interesting. The book is available here. Check it out!

(Is there Norman Mailer fan fiction? The sequel to "The Naked and the Dead", written by Neena79?)

Bicycles; Tolkien

I've now finally become a city person.

I was a bit busy today and all things seemed hazy. I had to go here and there and attend a meeting or two. I was leaving home to attend the businesses and had a thought: maybe I should take out my bicycle. I hadn't been cycling since I put the bicycle away for Winter (of course at the gym, but that's not the same thing). I could make the trip twice as fast as walking.

But the idea wore me out. I got to thinking that I'd arrive breathing heavily, hot, sweaty, tired, face all red. No no. That's not me.

And I decided to walk. It turned out to be a good idea, since I had just plenty of time (well, I skipped one of the meetings, which made some two good hours more).

But it was somewhat odd to me: why didn't I want to ride a bike? I was once a heavy supporter of cycling. We even had great ideas of becoming great bicycle cultivators, my friend Arttu and I. At one point we had some 30 vintage bicycles (well, some of them were so called projects, with parts missing and all). I ride an old bicycle even now, but I no longer think of collecting them. I even hate messing with the brakes and tyres and stuff - instead I'm thinking of getting the damn junk to the real repairman. I don't want to get my hands on grease.

And this is why I'm now finally a city person. Walking is what one does in the city, not riding a bike and not driving a car. Well, maybe buses and trolleys are for city persons, too, but if one wants to be cheap, one walks. (And there are no trolleys in Turku. Or subways.)

***

I watched Ralph Bakshi's animated version of Tolkien's "Lord of the Rings" (1979) the other night. It was a very disappointing experience, even though my memory of it wasn't very good in the first place. I had seen the film some 15-16 years back and hadn't liked it, but I liked it even less now. It was clear that Bakshi's backers had lost their faith during the filming process and everything gets more hasty when the end approaches. It was badly narrated, badly edited, odd-looking film that felt like no one really knew what it really should be. Someone (maybe Bakshi) felt it should be very artsy (just look at those colours and lines and odd shapes in the scenes with the ring wraiths), but someone also felt it should be very easy to look at and cutesy (Frodo Baggins especially with his large eyes and cuddly hair which make him almost ghastly).

And why on Earth did they use the technique of photographing the men first and then drawing on them and colouring them, when it was used only on orchs (and some men and elves when they are running)? Why isn't on all the time? And why are there so few orchs? It looks like they are having some sort of gang war, not the War of the Ring!

A friend said that Bakshi's version is better than Peter Jackson's hyperdrive version. I couldn't agree less. Bakshi's version is maybe more artful, but Jackson at least brings the happenings and the people to life. And it's entertaining, while Bakshi is almost torture.

Well, two points for trying. If it was another book, I'd give it only one (or one and a half).

I remember reading that Bernardo Bertolucci and Stanley Kubrick also dreamt of filming "The Lord of the Rings". Is this true? Or am I mixing this with something else? (Did they plan to film Hammett's "Red Harvest" and I was reading about this at the same time when I was reading about the film versions of Tolkien?) Certainly John Boorman meant to film Tolkien, but instead he made "Excalibur". He would've been better at drama of Tolkien than Jackson, who is more at home with action. (Action Jackson!)

Well, it seems it's time to go to bed...

Midwood Doubles

I was right about Midwood having done doubles. Here's an incomplete list of what they did in the sixties - these are all cheap sleaze, i.e. sex, paperbacks and maybe not very intriguing. There's more than this - Abebooks shows six whole pages for this! There were perhaps other sex doubles. Only my fearless research will tell.

The Other Woman - the Quiet Type - A Midwood Double Novel #34-696
Corgan, Grant ; Henry, Mike
Book Description: NY: Midwood, 1966. Mass Market Paperback.

THE ADDED ATTRACTION & CAUGHT IN THE ACT
STANTON & HAMLAND
Book Description: midwood double, (ORIGINAL 1967),

Peeping Tom / Temptation
West, Virginia / James, Tammy
Book Description: New York: Midwood, 1967.

WIVES PLAY TOO / NEW WOMAN AROUND
Malloy, Dirk / Cassel, Lucas J.
Book Description: Canada: Midwood Double 34-723, 1966.

THESE WARM NIGHTS and ALL THE TRIMMINGS
BALMER & GREGORY
Book Description: midwood double, (ORIGINAL 1966), ed. 34-710,good sex adventure novel,

COMING OF AGE and HANDLE WITH CARE
KRAMER & BROOKS
Book Description: midwood double, (ORIGINAL 1965), ed. 34-532,

Bundle of Joy & Girls on the Loose
Norman A King & Linda Michaels
Book Description: A Midwood Double Novel, 1966. Paperback.

Black Satin//White Thighs
Nortic, Max//Conroy, Jim
Book Description: New York: Midwood Book, 1969. Paperback.

Two-Timer (Bound with Frank Harris--Mate Exchange.)
Nelson, Connie (Bound with Frank Harris.)Book Description: Midwood. [34-476] 1965. (Double paperback)

Easy Come, Easy Go
(Bound with Joseph Tell--from Bed to Worse.)
Nelson, Connie (Bound with Joseph Tell.)
Book Description: Midwood. [34-583] 1966. (Double paperback)

Swinging Secretary
Henry, Mike
Book Description: New York: Midwood Enterprises, 1967. Paperback.Very Good. First Edition. Midwood Double Novel, bound with"Office Party" by Connie Nelson.

ANGEL FACE and HOUSE PET
BROOKS & BALMER
Book Description: midwood double, (ORIGINAL 1966), ed. 34-581,

ONE LONG WEEKEND and FREE FOR ALL
LANSING & HOLBROOK
Book Description: midwood double, (ORIGINAL 1966), ed. 34-647,vg,

CALL ME KITTEN and FAIR EXCHANGE
MALLORD & ROOTE
Book Description: midwood double, (ORIGINAL 1966), ed. 34-637,vg, sex adventure novel,

SUBURBAN FLING and SOPHISTICATED PARTY
CONROY & DENBY
Book Description: midwood double, (ORIGINAL 1966), ed. 34-740,

WIVES PLAY TOO and NEW WOMAN AROUND
MALLOY & CASSELBook Description: midwood double, (ORIGINAL 1966), ed. 34-723,

Sugar And Space
Ellis, Joan
Book Description: Midwood Double 34-562 1965. (b/w: Not SoInnocent by William Moore).

Southern Belle//Teen-Age Mischief
Comstock, J. C.//Terry Shaffer
Book Description: New York: Midwood Book, 1966. Paperback. VeryGood. First Edition. 34-739. A Midwood double novel.

The Sex Game//Young and Hot
Scott, Arjay//Phillips, AryBook Description: New York: Midwood Book, 1968. Paperback.Midwood Double Novel.

One Too many/ Stay Until Morning
John Balmer/ Cynthia Sydney
Book Description: NY: A Midwood Book, 1966. Soft Cover. MassMarket Paperback. (A Midwood Double Novel - # 34-649 FirstPrinting Anywhere.)

LADY OF LEISURE and NEVER LET ME GO
NELSON & STEVENS
Book Description: midwood double, (ORIGINAL 1965),

French Leave/ Night Games
King, Norman anderson/ Dana Pitman
Book Description: Canada: MIdwood 34-784, 1967. a Midwood double.

SMALL TOWN SINNER AND THRILL HUNGRY.
Woods, Merry and Brian O'Bannon.Book Description: Midwood, 34-477 1965. Vintage erotic paperback.Double edition.

Shadow Dance / After Hours
Brooks, Barbara / McAndrews, Robbie
Book Description: New York: Midwood # S300 1st Edition 1963. A Midwood Double.

Executive Sweet / The Soft Sell
Ellis, Joan / Nelson, Connie
Book Description: NY: Midwood, 1965. Midwood Double 34-457.

A Girl a Night / Sex and Me
Reading, Mark and Harmon, Lee
Book Description: New York: Midwood Book, 1969. 2 complete novels, first edition.

Double books

I mentioned the so-called Ace Doubles in my previous message and started to think about the whole "invention". The Ace Doubles had two front covers and two novels - hence you could get two books at the same price and decide afterwards which one you want to read. I don't really know if it's a good idea - all the Ace Doubles I've seen have too small a font and the marginals are too narrow. And if it was a good idea, I think it would've been more popular with other paperback houses.

I don't know if there were any other publishers doing Doubles. I think I've seen (in the net) some sleaze/sex paperback Doubles, from cheapo houses like Midwood, but I'm not sure. Gryphon Books has done some Doubles, but I think they are pamphlet-sized, with 40-60 pages.

This never caught on in Finland. I don't know why. There were some reprint doubles, but no original novels published thus. And I don't think I've ever seen an original Finnish paperback double. There were some "triples", but they had only one cover (it would be hard to imagine what it would be like if all the books had their own front cover! Stephen Hawking might be able to figure it out). The Finnish Doubles and Triples were mainly Westerns (Walt Slades and such) or Hank Jasons.

So, well, maybe when and if and possibly and perhaps my idea for Blood Hound Press ever becomes true, it could be possible that I might think of doing some paperback doubles. Emphasis on "maybe". It could be fun, you know.

Backlash

A new entry in our on-going series "Confessions of a Non-Fiction Writer": another publisher just announced they are not interested in the book Elina and I proposed for them, about the Finnish pasta culture (actually "macaroni", but I don't actually know what precise meaning that word has in English). I tried not to smash the windows for couple of seconds, then I sent the memo we made to another publisher.

The Finnish pasta culture is very much its own and has nothing to do with the original Italian pasta (or Chinese noodles). The Finnish macaroni is short and doesn't always contain durum wheat at all and there are recipes that go like this:

Cook macaronis for half an hour. Cool them and leave them be. Cut them in thick slices and dip them in eggs and roll them over in wheat flour. Fry them on a pan.

It's called "macaroni steaks" and is to be eaten with meat. I don't know if anyone really does this anymore, since we've been taught to eat "real" Italian pasta with tomato sauce and garlic and herbs and stuff like that (and I do think that it tastes better), but this is cultural history that should be preserved.

We've heard some new recipes, though, that have nothing do with "pasta". One guy was reported eating his macaronis with liver pate: he just minced the liver pate in with the cooked macaroni.

***

I gave my usual Wednesday lecture on cinema history yesterday at the Tampere university. Elina and Kauto met me afterwards at the railway station and we went to see a new-born son of my old friend Arttu. It was so small and fragile! It's difficult to think that Kauto was once so small, as he walks (well, almost) and talks (well, almost).

We walked over the beautiful Pyynikinharju in the way to town and dropped by some second hand stores and flea markets. Nothing spectacular, but it's always entertaining to go through some musty old piles.

As for my lecture: I talked about the animated movies. I mentioned that I just might deliver a whole series of lectures about animations and one guy came up and said that he would be interested. Now, just go to work! I've been playing with the idea of doing a short book on the subject, since the last history of animated movies in Finnish is, what, almost thirty years old.

***

I went through today the rest of my first novel (well, that's what I like to think). It's called "The Blood Orgy of the Void God" and it's a genre hybrid of hardboiled police procedural, splatter horror and religious fantasy and satire. I don't know if it works. Some small publishers have been mildly interested in it (the other one went down, though), but I have a vague feeling that time has passed this kind of work. (I'd be almost willing to give it away free, but don't tell this to the publishers... I've been writing this for ages, starting actually from 1988, when my first (and for years, only) short story was published in Tähtivaeltaja. There are even some same characters.)

I also started going through a private eye novel about Joe Novak, who's been in one short story in Isku (and in another one in a forth-coming issue). The novel is called "The Dostoyevsky Reel" and is about the last days of Hollywood's B-film system and the drive-in movies and stuff like that. It's very short, only about 35 000 words, and should make a good Ace Double. Who would write the other half?

I wrote "The Dostoyevsky Reel" in 1999, when my daughter Ottilia was born. I read it last Christmas and thought it worked quite well, but I don't know if the Finnish publishers would be interested in it, since it's situated in the US in the late fifties. There are of course the vanity presses, but I've come to a conclusion that I could even make some money out of it, if I made some 100-150 copies with my own money and sell them under the counter, since I don't think the Finnish vanity presses would be able to sell more copies. And I would certainly know what the book should look like!

There's just that the English title is much more better than the translated one. ("Kela Dostojevskia"? "Dostojevski-rulla"? "Raina ja rangaistus"? Any suggestions for the Finnish title? Anyone?)

Masters of the Universe

Another foray into the tie-in genre, another hour of endless joy and effortless research!

I found a stupid looking Masters of the Universe (you know, He-Man and all that stuff) children's tie-in at a thrift store the other day and couldn't help buying it. Today it occurred to me that there might be others, especially after the (very great) Dolph Lundgren movie. But, alas, no! It seems that the publishers didn't really care about the animation series and the (very great) movie. A quick look on Abebooks reveals that there are these and perhaps some others. The only tie-in that looks like a novel is the one by R.L. Stine. Some of these could very well be "only" comic versions of the animation series.

THE TRAP (MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE SERIES)
Dubay, W. B.
Book Description: Racine, Wisconsin Golden Press Warner Publishing 1983. Good. Paperback; large format paperback graphic book. Illustrated by Dan Spiegel.

MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE ICONS OF EVIL TRAP JAW #1
Book Description: MVCREATIONS.

MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE ICONS OF EVIL MER MAN #1
Book Description: MVCREATIONS. [Are these two some kind of dolls? - JN]

Masters of the Universe: Skeletor's Flower of Power
Knoor, Bryce
Book Description: Golden Press. A fine oversized pictur cover hardcover. Cover: Fred playing croquet. [?] Copyright 1985 Mattel.

Masters of the Universe Annual 1987
Anonymous.
Book Description: Manchester: World Distributors, 1986. Hard Cover. Very Good/No Jacket. 4to - over 9¾" - 12" tall.

Masters of the Universe he Man and the Lost Dragon
John Grant, Illustrated by Robin Davies
Book Description: Loughborough: Ladybird, 1986. Hardback. 12mo - over 6¾" - 7¾" tall.

Masters of the Universe he Man and the Asteroid of Doom
John Grant, Illustrated by Robin Davies Book Description: Loughborough: Ladybird, 1986. Hardback. 12mo - over 6¾" - 7¾" tall.

Masters of the Universe HE-MAN and the Memory Stone
Jason Kingsley
Book Description: Loughborough: Ladybird, 1985. First Edition. Hardback. 12mo - over 6¾" - 7¾" tall.

MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE: Demons of the Deep
R.L. Stine, Illustrated by Fred Carrillo
Book Description: Western Publishing, 1985. Hardcover. A Golden Book -glossy hardback.

(I really don't know whether anyone got here... and whether anyone would be interested at all. But that's what blogs are for: to share information no one is interested in. I couldn't see myself putting this into a magazine or even writing it to an article. This will do. It just will have to do.)

Kekkonen; The Green Berets; Schlock

Ha! Just yesterday I was having depression and thinking that I'll never have work again and just today, two hours ago, I received an e-mail from a publisher saying they might be interested in the how-to-dress-according-to-president-Kekkonen book! We haven't settled anything yet, but the book is already forming up in my head!

***

I saw John Wayne's "The Green Berets" (1968) last night and, oh boy, oh boy, was it a bore! I mean, how could they manage to do such a slow-moving and unappealing movie? Politics is what it is, but it was just so disjointed that it never achieved any dramatical impact. None whatsoever. The beginning is boring and you never really get to know the characters. The battle in the middle starts almost out of the blue and ends with a plane coming out of nowhere and shooting all the Charlies with two machine guns! They die, just like that, like snapping your fingers. The same with the kidnapping of the Viet Cong general in the second part - even though it was better acted and edited than the first half of the movie (maybe John himself directed the first part and Ray Kellogg did the second or the other way around).

And there was no unintentional humour anywhere! The movie was made with enough money to guarantee they didn't have to use much archive footage or something like that. The dialogue gave the best laughs - and John Wayne running. It wasn't shown much, though.

One thing left me wondering though: no one mentioned communism or communists. Why was that? Were they afraid what the Soviet Union might say? Or were they uncertain about what ideology Viet Cong had? Or did they really think that the US went to Vietnam just because Viet Cong (or "VC", as they say in the movie) was so cruel to other Vietnamese? Heck, that was the reason they went to Iraq!

***

I also saw John Landis's first feature film last week. It was called "Schlock" and it's from 1971 - pretty amateurish and largely unfunny parody of ape films. I said to Elina that I'm not sure whether I'd've given any money to Landis to make more films after this. There was a big gap between this and "Kentucky Fried Movie" which came in 1977, IIRC. It's much better movie than "Schlock", but it's also overrated. As are many of Landis's subsequent films. I don't find much to laugh at even in "Blues Brothers".

It was nice to see, though, that not all American films from the early seventies share the qualities and ideologies of the celebrated Hollywood New Wave (Penn, Altman etc.). The film histories tend to leave films like this out.

Depression

I was suddenly struck by depression earlier today. I was checking up messages from an e-mail address where I asked people to post if they were willing to do an interview for an article I've been assigned to write. No answers. In the website I sent my original query some stupid jerks had begun to make some lame-ass remarks. No one had replied in order to answer my query.

Of course the first thing that occurred to me was that now I can't get story made. The next thing was that I can't make any other story. And then it occurred to me that my days as a freelance writer are over and I have to crawl back to my mother's or something like that.

Similar thoughts occurred when Elina found out that someone had already made a book we were asked to do couple months back - a new kind of book about a newborn baby, with blank pages to fill with memoirs and pictures and stuff like that.

I also read somewhere that there are already enough books about Kekkonen, the long-running president of Finland. I was going to make - when I would've had the time (which is maybe never) - the how-to-dress book according to Kekkonen, since I've always thought he was a very smart dresser. (Just check this out. The picture's quality is not very good, but he's one cool mother in that. I think it's from the mid-seventies when Kekkonen still reigned supreme. Damn, what a man!)

There are so many books that you'd have to do first thing in the morning after you get the idea: short, snappy non-fiction books with fun trivia and nice pictures. Don't wait. Do them. That would be writer's almanac, if I had one. Instead I keep scanning obscure paperbacks for Pulp and write long and boring articles about forgotten writers... (I started to dream yesterday about a radio program (which I would make, of course) that would deal with forgotten authors. I was talking to a friend on a phone and suggested Elizabeth Taylor. Who's read her? No one? I haven't, but once she was a respected and read writer. And this was in the 1950's, not 1870's or anything like that. And no, I'm not talking about the actor. My friend suggested Gwen Bristow. Anyone? I know the name only from the legion of her books that fill the thrift stores.)

Ah well, must get back to writing about the fifties noir lit by female writers. Let me tell you, Elizabeth Sanxay Holding is a very good writer. Read her "The Blank Wall" (1947). It's outstanding. The bright prose and short sentences take you away.

As for the depression.. well, it comes and goes. I scanned the cover illo for the coming issue of Isku (it's great, once again, by Jukka Murtosaari) and started to write the noir article. Now, this is me doing what I can.

NoMeansNo

I've been listening to Canada's hardcore heroes NoMeansNo lately. It was one of my all-time favourites when I was in lukio (pretty close to high school, years 15-19) and the first two or three years in the university. Then there was a break, of almost ten years, when I didn't spend time listening to the band. I don't really know why, because I got their collection from the library the other day and it blew me out! Wow! The men (they were fifty fifteen years ago, at the time I got to know the band!) really show that rock can be intelligent and noisy at the same time. No question about that. (And also funky - some of their songs could be big disco hits. If only I were a DJ...)

It's just that the liner notes in the collection make me wonder whether I really understood the band when I was a teenager. My favourite record by NoMeansNo has always been "Wrong", but in the liner notes it's said to be the poorest selling and the lousiest record they ever made. No way, man! Just check out "Big Dick" or "Rags and Bones" and all the great tunes! But, um, well, maybe I'm wrong. "Now" that starts the collection at hand (BTW, it's called "The People's Choice", from Wrong Records) and it's one of the best rock'n'roll songs I've ever known (it's originally from "0 + 2 = 1", 1991) and "I Can't Stop Talking" (from "The Dance of the Headless Bourgeoisie", 1998) shows some very quirky and funky guitar riffing!

Joel Chandler Harris; Pope; flea market finds

I made a mistake: it's Joel Chandler Harris, not Joel Harris Chandler who wrote the stories on which the Disney movie "Song of the South" was based on. The stories have been translated into Finnish, but the books go usually under the name of Anni Swan, who was the translator (and maybe a heavy-handed modifier, too) and one of the most famous Finnish children's authors. Harris is mentioned somewhere at the bottom of the page in tiny fonts.

Here's something I dug out about Harris who seemed to be some kind of America's answer to brothers Grimm:

Well in advance of the twentieth-century development of folklore studies and cultural anthropology as academic disciplines, Joel Chandler Harris gathered the dialect tales he had heard in his childhood told by slaves. He placed them within a narrati ve context that made them available to a large white audience, sharpening the effects of their regional details and the age-old wisdom by which the enslaved secretly outwit their masters.

Through his work with the Uncle Remus tales, he would introduce Ame ricans to the basic patterns and rhythms of southern African-American speech. Because of Harris' accomplishments, American mainstrean literature featured a memorable new character, Uncle Remus, as well as a new literary tradition.

The way had been hard for Harris as a child in Georgia. His day-laborer father deserted his mother just before his birth. Helped by the local people of Putnam County, the mother and the child made do until young Harris went to work for a newspaper at fourteen. Harris soon contributed humorous pieces to several Georgia papers, and he quickly gained a reputation in the newspaper world. In 1876 he joined the Atlanta Constitution in the city that became his permanent home. During this perio d Harris divided his time between editorial writing (urging southerners to "reconstruct" their habits and to rise above the conflicts of their past) and the dialect tales, which began to appear in print under the guise of Uncle Remus, the old slave.

His first collection of folk poems and proverbs was published in 1881 as Uncle Remus: His Songs and Sayings. Further collections included Nights with Uncle Remus (1883), Uncle Remus and His Friends (1892), and Uncle Remus and the Little Boy (1905). As the titles suggest, relationships are important; they develop between the wide-eyed audience (likened to a little white boy from the main plantation household) and the narrator who acts as "best friend"-whiling away the hours w ith a seemingly endless supply of tales. The lasting impression of the Remus stories on readers of all ages and from many countries (there were translations into twenty-seven languages) stems from the force of their slave lore.

Harris insisted that his sources were genuine and that his documentation of the plot and dialect was accurate. In this way, Uncle Remus goes back in time to African models, as well as to the animal tales of Aesop and Chaucer. Harris helped inspir e other writers in the vernacular through his adroit use of narrative forms, his excellent ear for the subtleties of dialect, and his ability to emphasize the universal nature of these classic standoffs between the weak and the powerful.

***

The pope is dead. I think he should've died sooner - he seemed so sick and fragile. I just don't get why it is so big news. He was old and bound to die. And the church should've let him rest.

Someone should extinguish the Catholic Church. The papal institution is weird: one guy, who's willing to let unwanted babies born by the thousands or even millions, can decide what's good for millions of people! And as Elina pointed out, the pope is elected by the authorities of the church, yet he's claimed to be the spokesman of God on Earth. Why doesn't God tell us who's the next pope? That way we all could be sure He really exists.

I've always wondered why God isn't more open about Himself and His ways. Why is He lurking? It's self-deception to just say: He moves in mysterious ways. That way he ensures people don't take Him seriously. Some good old burning bushes and stuff - that's all He needs.

***

Good day at the flea market today. We went for a walk (Spring has finally arrived!) and checked in at the near-by self-service flea market. We made quite a many finds - I even found two Finnish sex paperbacks from the late seventies that I was missing! I also bought an old Finnish adventure novel by "Brent Morea", really Olavi Linnus who also wrote as Gil Dennic and Rex Davis and some other pseudonyms. The Amazon novel called "Viidakkoväylän jäljillä/Route through the Jungle" (Paletti 1948) starts off quite snappily:

"Then I started to think that Dick Spider wasn't worth a mention anymore. You see, those who meet my fists are not very charming afterwards."

I also bought an Israeli paperback by Andrew Sugar, a sex/crime paperback by "Brad Latham", who I've been told is really the famous horror writer David J. Schow, Norwegian or Danish western paperback by one Ed Edson, an old Finnish romance paperback by Maja Kai and a historical adventure novel by Stanley Weyman, who is nowadays almost forgotten writer from the age of great storytellers (= late 19th century and early 20th century). I've developed an interest towards old adventure fiction lately, but more about that later.

Helsinki

I went to Helsinki yesterday and took part in giving a critics' reward to a young composer called Taito Hoffrén. We had a wonderful dinner at Kosmos after the ceremony and when I left I was pretty much drunk. It didn't amount to much, because I started to feel dizzy and pretty tired in the train and even I made a date with Niko-Matti to go to sauna with him and drink few more ciders or beers, I couldn't make it after I'd been home for two hours. I was just too tired. Old age doesn't come alone...

I even made it to TV. They showed a two-minute bit on Taito Hoffrén on Yle 1's Culture News and there I was, giving the reward to Taito. He sang his thanks in the ancient Kalevala style! It was great.

However, I made it briefly to Akademic Bookshop and bought "Interface" by Joe Gores and "Deadfolk" by Charlie Williams. Both have been praised highly and "Interface" has been called a true classic. But no Hard Case Crime or Point Blank Press books. Sometimes Finland is still a hick town.